We no longer have any babies in cribs at our house. It was almost 6 years of cribs (sometimes 1, sometimes 2) in our family with 3 babies so close together, and it has officially come to an end.
A couple weeks ago I disassembled the side rail and replaced it with the toddler plank on my (almost) 2 year old’s bed. I laid out the screws and little metal pieces on the carpet, and gathered the stupid Ikea hex wrench and screw drivers I’d need. Then I sat and stared at it for a few minutes. It’s a strange feeling, watching babies grow up. There’s an excitement and also an emptiness that has come, for me, in giving away bags of baby clothes we held on to for a while, just in case. The day I took apart that crib though, I did the entire job through a flood of tears. Thinking of the “never agains” that come with a last baby twists my stomach. When I put the bed back together the same stillness came over me and I just sat in the middle of the floor and looked at it for a long time. I thought back to the late nights trying to sneak a sleepy baby from my arms onto the mattress. The middle of the night sheet changes after a leaky diaper. The endless shhhhhhhing and rocking trying to follow our “sleep plan.” The staring at a perfect sleeping face with pouty lips. The opening the swaddle for THE big stretch in the morning. I’m just under a month my littlest baby will turn 2, and that’s it, baby days are done here. There’s so much to look forward to, but, still, so much that I ache to go back to.
3 Comments
Lesley S
3/2/2023 05:54:21 pm
I miss the baby days, but man it is so nice when they can do things for themselves! LOL
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Sara T.
3/3/2023 08:16:27 pm
You captured the sweet and the sour of babies growing up. I still feel a sadness of knowing I'm done having babies, because of how many sweet and tender and snuggly moments there were.
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Author5th grade teacher, wife, mama to my 3 magical babies, ally, advocate, doggy foster mom... just stumbling on. Archives
March 2022
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