Since being at home I've taken up virtual gaming. Not like gambling, just like "Yahtzee with Buddies" and "Words with Friends" and things like that. I even did a Zoom meeting with a few friends to play Scategories the other day.
It keeps me feeling like I am still interacting with some of my friends who I know I won't be seeing for a long time, and honestly has me talking to some of them more often than I did before this all happened.
If you know any good apps to play fun games with friends, or want to add me and play, let me know!
"It won't stay in the mud, Mama!" Kellan yelled to me, trying to get the stick he'd been digging in the mud with to stand straight up, shoved into the earth.
Next thing I know he was telling me the mud doesn't taste very good. I looked over and saw his giant grin, teeth brown, and line from his stick, which had apparently become a spoon, across his cheek.
He continued to try to smear mud onto a nearby tree with his bare hands, laughing and stomping in his rubber boots.
I called him Mud Puppy and he laughed and called me Mud Mama. We held muddy hands.
The whole time I didn't think about a virus at all.
Tonight is the official start of spring break.
This is the first year ever than my husband and I have the same spring break.
We've been looking forward to this because, for the first time, we could enjoy the entire week together.
Wow, how things have evolved from months of looking forward to this "big break."
Now all we do is "break."
My son is 2. Slightly closer to 2 and a half, but I prefer to round down. I read that somewhere, that when savoring the time, round down your child's age. I liked that. Why rush?
Sometimes I forget he is just 2 because oh my goodness, how is he 2?
I've felt lucky I didn't have to explain the virus to him. I didn't have to explain quarantines and shut downs, economic rock bottom, sickness, or death.
I've really appreciated that the only explanation he needed for not going to a different house in the morning is that Mama and Daddy don't have to work and we all get a break at home.
I've been grateful that nothing much has changed for him.
But I was wrong.
Today as we sat in front of my computer and watched a Facebook Live performance of his music teacher, singing the songs we all sang in class just a few weeks ago, I watched his face.
First was excitement to see Ms. T. on the screen, and to hear the familiar hello song we've heard in class since he was 6 months old.
Then his smile faded. He wasn't unhappy, but he was very focused. He watched and listened.
He watched when he should have felt. He listened when he should have sang. He sat when he should have danced.
I love so much that we had this opportunity to try to feel some normalcy, but this was, for me, when it sank in that even at 2, he sees that things are far from normal.
Tears filled my eyes and my chest felt tight. It stung for that bubble to break.
I mean, hes only 2. How can he handle this weight? Maybe, just for now, it's best to round up.
The nice weather had us outside again, this time for a walk around the block.
Kellan jumped into the wagon, and I clipped his seat belt to hold him captive.
I held Bowen on my hip in a sling.
We strolled slowly, with no place to be and no time constraints.
"Am I wearing undies?" Kellan interrupted the peace.
"Yes..." "Did you have an accident?" "Do you need to go potty?"
"No, I don't." he responded.
My husband and I looked at each other and shrugged it off, figuring it would just be a fun surprise when we eventually got home.
I'm happy to report, though, that he was in fact dry.
I'd say most dog owners have had that moment when you hear that sound. That sound that tells you there's about to be a mess.
Sometimes it's in the middle of the night. Sometimes it's when you're fast asleep and it takes you a moment to realize exactly what it is.
Last night we had one of those experiences.
At about 1:30 we heard the sound...the sound that makes you instantly jump up out of bed, grab hold of the dog, and shove her into the hallway with wood floors, and away from the carpeted floor.
My husband's reflexes were fast, but not fast enough, and she got the carpeted floor of our bedroom.
This is my number one reason for wanting to get rid of the last of the carpet.
A late night cleaning, and contemplating remodeling.
"I wanna help too!" Is a common comment from my two year old when we are cooking.
Tonight my husband was making dinner, but Kellan saw me opening the freezer to choose a vegetable option, so I let him choose. He wanted corn.
Then he said he wanted to help cook it. He is used to dragging a chair from the kitchenette table to the counter so that he is tall enough to help when we bake or cook something a little more complex.
Today all we needed to do was boil water and pour in the frozen corn. Nonetheless he wanted to help, so although we didn't need a chair, I held him up high enough to reach and let him fill the pot. Then we waited for the water to boil. Then he dumped in the corn.
When it was done and dinner was on plates, he scooped the corn and said "Mmmmm." before he even got the spoon into his mouth. He always likes foods best when he made them!
It's March 22nd and the entryway to my house is covered with an assortment of winter gear. A couple of snowsuits, coats, boots, gloves, hats, etc.
As a family we went out into the strangely warm snowstorm this afternoon. It was an odd feeling, hearing birds in the background and watching snowflakes gather on the eyelashes of my blue eyed, doll baby daughter.
I must have made 20 snowballs for my son, who threw them, commenting at how they crumbled up as they struck the side of the house. I used my bare hands, not being fully prepared to "play," thinking I would just be holding onto the star fish shaped baby in her puffy hand-me-down snowsuit.
It was only maybe 15 minutes, but it was 15 minutes of images that are etched in mind as just one of the beautiful moments of this quarantine.
Social distancing is a lot more difficult when your primary virtual connection to the world is also cut off.
I guess what I'm saying is, if ever you find yourself in the midst of a word wide pandemic, try to make sure you have a reliable cell phone.
I haven't had a phone for about 5 days now, and part of me would like to say it hasn't bothered me. But, really I just wish it didn't bother me so much.
I've found some ways to contact a few friends and my parents, but overall, that isolated feeling we're all feeling...I'm feeling it even more.
I'll admit it, I am addicted to my phone and my apps.
By the time this is over, and I get my new phone, if I can figure out how to set it up on my own, it will be about a week that I have had NO mobile device.
My goals with this are to realize that if I lived without it, I can live without it. I'm considering paring down on my "essential" apps and really working hard to put the phone down and live more.
Part of this entire pandemic quarantine situation is supposed to be looking on the bright side and making some positive changes that will stay with us. This is one of my positive changes that I really hope will stick.
Again tonight I found myself sitting on the little white wooden stool across from the toilet, holding a device that played an episode of Sesame Street, discussing poop for far too long.
Today was our first ZERO accident day since starting potty training 7 days ago. We're far from perfect, but it's a relief to have made it this far.