I don’t think I will ever not cry at the end of a break from school.
I will just miss my little guy so much. I counted 9 weeks left, with a few days off sprinkled in.
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On this second to last night of spring break I am so content laying on the couch.
I’m happily enjoying feeling little kicks and rolls in my belly, thinking about getting to know this little person in a few short months. When I was pregnant with my first a lot of my focus was on “what will it be like to have a baby?” I was consumed with thoughts of things we needed, how I would survive without sleep, how we would get a room together in time. Now all I can think is how amazing it will be to meet this little one and get to know them in the coming years. Not just seeing him or her but learning their personality, likes, dislikes, and what their laugh will sound like. I think the difference is less about my anxiety of being a new mom, and more about how unbelievably in love I am with my son and who he is and who he is becoming. I’m in awe of the opportunity to get to love and know another little best friend in the same way. My little one is getting his molars in and it has been a rough day for him. He is clearly so uncomfortable and even ibuprofen wasn’t helping.
All day his mouth drooled streams and his nose too. He keeps saying “Owie mouf!” And “Nose tuffy!” Before bed I got up the courage to use the saline and suck out the extra snot in his nose. This did take courage because I know how much he absolutely hates it. As soon as he saw it he started crying and saying no. With him screaming and crying and snotting and kicking and pushing me away, I did what I could, reassuring him that it would help his nose. Though he was devastated, seconds later he laughed and stuck the blue bulb sucker up his own nose. Then tried to stick it up my nose. Then tried to stick it up Daddy’s nose. All of the fight when I used it, to then think it was the best thing ever. With the bottle of saline in one hand and the bulb in the other, he alternated putting them near his nose, sniffing loudly, and laughing. In fact he would have taken both to bed with him, and he cried when I made him put them away. Yesterday my husband had a package delivered which I brought in off the porch before he got home. He doesn’t typically order much, so I was curious what it might be.
When he got home to open it, I learned that he had decided to treat himself to a new hockey jersey, a really nice one. He tried it on and went back and forth with whether or not he chose the right size. He asked me in about 10 different ways if I thought it fit right. I reassured him in 10 different ways that it did. This morning he threw it over his arm as he was walking out of the house. “Why aren’t you wearing it?” I asked. “I’m gonna ask some people at work if they think it fits.” he explained. He then continued, “I mean, I value your opinion though!” He came home wearing it, so I guess his coworkers also though it looked fine. It’s amazing that just about this time last year I was blogging about a sleep transition with my little one. He spent his first night without a swaddle in March last year. It was a big adjustment and ended up with many sleepless nights.
Today we moved him to a toddler bed. I know he is young for it, and I definitely would have kept him in his crib much longer if I could, but this morning he climbed out. I was so grateful that he wasn’t hurt, but I wasn’t willing to risk it again. I spent most most of day taking apart the crib and putting it back together with the low side rail, putting cord safety devices in place, moving things, and hoping and praying he would sleep. At bed time I kept his routine exactly the same as always- diaper and PJs, brush teeth, books, a snuggle, and lay him down. He went right to sleep! I am still worried about what the night will hold, but for now, he is asleep, and I am so proud of him! A visit with one of my friends today was so needed. She brought both of her kids over and all we did was catch up while the kids played. It was so simple and so easy.
The kids ran around (except for the one who still crawls) and we sat and talked about them. The kids had lunch and we supervised. The kids laughed and smiled and we did too. I can’t decide if I’m proud or ashamed that I haven’t actually gone to a grocery store to shop since my son was born...16 months ago. Shortly before he was born I started ordering them online and picking them up at Walmart.
Today was the first time I attempted a full grocery shop with him, by myself. He’s very easy going so I really wasn’t worried about it. He loves to be in public, and is a really happy baby. I was totally unsurprised that the trip went really well! He sat in the cart and yelled out all the foods he saw and said “brrrrrrrr” when we would go quickly down the aisle. He laughed and smiled and had a great time. It wasnt really until I got home that I realized I had almost none of the things I needed to make any meals. Sure there were fruits and crackers and some applesauce, but literally nothing that I had on my list for dinners. So here I am after an hour and a half grocery shopping trip this morning, eating cereal for dinner. I woke up on the couch around 1:30 in the morning hearing the bathroom door close.
When I opened my eyes I realized how late it was and started to gather myself to head to bed. I got my phone, my glasses, the baby monitor, and called the dog to come with me. In another minute, my husband came into the room with phone in hand. I asked if he had fallen asleep on the couch too. He said no, he was watching David Letterman. I laid down and started to fall back asleep when he shook me awake and shoved one of his headphones into my face saying, “listen to this!” and stifling a laugh. To be honest, I was annoyed. “Do you realize how late it is? Go to sleep.” ”But just listen to this real quick. Five seconds.” Again I refused and pushed the headphone away. I assumed that some new song had come out that he wanted me to hear. I assumed it would not hurt to wait until morning. Yet he insisted. Giggling to himself again, he pleaded, “Just listen.” Reluctantly I took it and put it in my ear, curious, mostly, to figure out what was so funny. As soon as I heard what he just needed me to hear I pulled it out, threw it back at him, and rolled back over. Yes, this is the party animal I am, turning down “Pump Up the Jam” by Technotronic at 2 in the morning. I spent the majority of the afternoon sleeping on the couch, still sick.
I missed another family party that my son and husband got to enjoy without me. I requested Gatorade and some rice and tolerated that okay. Taking care of yourself is so important, but also so hard. Usually my son absolutely loves baths.
The mention of the word bath sends him running to the bathroom, standing on his tip toes, looking over the edge of the tub, trying to get his knee up to climb in. We have to hold him back while the water runs or keep him busy by letting him throw in the bath toys one by one. Otherwise he would be splashing in fully clothed. Today started no different. He ran to the tub and threw all of his toys in, went with his daddy to get his towel and wash cloth, and was ready to get in as soon as the tub was filled. We put him in and he stood in the middle of the tub. Seconds later he started repeating “get out, get out, get out!” He reached over and tried to cling to me to be picked up. For some reason, today, he just didn’t want to be in that bath! Unfortunately though he really needed a bath, so we quickly did the bare necessities of washing and got him out. Even though his bath is usually a lot of fun, splashing, and practicing letters and numbers on the wall, my favorite part is after the bath anyway. When I can wrap him up in a big towel, snuggle and rock in the chair in his room, that is really the best part. |
Author5th grade teacher, wife, mama to my 3 magical babies, ally, advocate, doggy foster mom... just stumbling on. Archives
March 2022
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