I just typed up an entire blog and hit post. It looked as though all was well, then when I went back to it, there was nothing there.
Jt reminded me of the countless times in college that I would type a paper, or a portion of a paper, just to lose it for one reason or another. Sometimes the computer would crash, or close out the page without saving, or even after I saved it wouldn’t show up the way I wanted it to. Google has revolutionized all of this. I actually laughed today when a student came to me and said he will have to start all over at home and won’t be able to get his writing done if he starts it at school. He truly didn’t realize that his Google Doc. follows his login. First I couldn’t believe that for a student, who has really only ever known Google, wouldn’t know that. And second I though, how lucky are these kids that they’ll never encounter staying up late to finish an assignment and losing it all?
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Today has been a tough day. I woke up just not feeling well and the feeling has not gone away.
I had an extra early meeting this morning, so I was up at 5 to shower and get ready, quickly get Kellan ready (I was smart and got him dressed in clothes last night, just had to change his diaper this morning), get all of our stuff into the car and drive in the dark, in the rain to my mom’s house. Then throughout the day I’ve continued to feel just off and not well. My mom and I had a conversation about my plans for after work. Again a list: I have a meeting, then have to drop off my taxes, then stop at the bank, then pick up Kellan, then get home, make dinner, get Kellan ready for bed, jump onto my live class at 7, take a break to put him to bed, finish my class, and pass out. Doing all of this any day is exhausting but today, when I’m not feeling well, it feels impossible. Then my mom offered to feed Kellan dinner. Hallelujah! I can cross one item off my list. Moms are the best! Target drive up saved my day today.
I needed toilet paper, infant motrin, and a bag of coffee. I could not have survived the night and morning without these items. I also could not have survived bringing my cranky, teething baby into Target. I orderd the items, drove up on my way home, had them brought out to the car, and went on with my day. Huge win. Today my grade level had a half day meeting in the afternoon at our district’s professional development center.
This meant we had a little travel time built into the middle of our day. So for the first time ever, my teaching partner and I went out for lunch. Like a real adult order-and-sit-down-and-eat lunch. We could actually talk. We could relax. We didn’t even work. We just enjoyed each other’s company and a delicious lunch. As parents, my husband and I are really good at giving each other time away to do what we care about. So if that means he has a night out or I have a few hours to grab lunch with a friend, we honor that need.
Today I just needed a nap. So I came to bed and laid down just to be surprised 2 minutes later with the thundering sounds of a toddler running down the hallway yelling “build!” He busted in with magnet tiles in both hands, climbed up on the bed and put them right in my face demanding “Mama, build!” My husband followed after to retrieve him, but again just moments later, he returned with more magnets trying to convince me to get up and build with him. He was just running in giggling and pleading, climbing up and whispering “Mama sleepin” and then down, tapping my face and continuing to shout “build!” In reality I could have closed the door, I could have insisted my husband keep him in the living room, could have gotten a little more restful rest, but he will only want me to build with him for so long. He especially will not be impressed with my box “houses” for much longer. And I love the memory I have now of him sitting with me in bed building our little houses. I’ve always tried to keep pretty active and work out when I can, but like most people, I have my ups and downs.
Recently has been pretty down and for a few weeks now I haven’t done much as far as exercise. I’ve gone through different phases of exercise. For a long time I ran and lifted weights at the gym, then I went through a time that all I did was run, then I got really into Pilates, then hot yoga was my preference. These days the easiest thing for me to do consistently is work out at home. I can have some flexibility and don’t have to make sure someone else is watching the baby. So, as I mentioned, it’s been a few weeks since I was active but I decided that today I was getting back into a rountine. I set up my weights, my resistance bands, my iPad with my workout plan and a podcast. I got my glass of water ready and changed my clothes and went into the spare bedroom in our house. I stretched a little bit and got started with my first resistance circuit. I felt great, as I always do, and try to remind myself. I was feeling like this is the start of getting back into a groove. As I started my second circuit, I heard my husband yell “Hey come help, Kellan threw up!” And that was my work out. We’re in the middle of another teething phase. I honestly didn’t realize until it was happening, that teething is basically a never ending process for the first two years of a baby’s life
My little guy was just so crabby tonight that everything made him upset. He wanted to color, but coloring made him throw a fit. He wanted to play blocks, but every time the blocks fell over he threw a fit. He wanted to read a book, but didn’t want to sit down, so he threw a fit. You get the idea. For a, usually, very easy going guy, this just pains me knowing he must be hurting. Daddy to the rescue! He came out into the living room, dumped a basket of clean towels onto the couch, and plopped the baby right in. “Ride!” Kellan yelled, remembering that daddy had done this before. He zoomed around the room, into the hallway, and back several times. From my spot on the floor in the living room, I could hear giggles and happiness that he hadn’t showed in a few hours. When the ride was over Kellan maintained his excitement for a little while and Daddy was winded. I just love the little things in an evening with my family. I’m sitting in the DQ drive thru line at 9:00 PM on a Thursday. I am tired to my bones after parent teacher conferences and being at school until close to 8:30.
This Dairy Queen is my very favorite. When I pulled in I wondered for a moment if they were even open, as the sign near the street is not illuminated. But once you pull around the corner you can see the lights on inside the little shack. The window comes about 200 feet after the menu board. I have been here so many times that more than once I have seen someone sitting and waiting at the menu, not realizing that is not where you order. So when you do pull up to the window you tell an actual human what you would like and then wait there while they make it. For someone like me who can be rather indecisive, having to order without seeing the menu is anxiety producing. Even when I have every intention of ordering something new and rehearse it in my head before I get to the window, I always forget what it was that I chose, by the time I’m at the window. Today I did it. I ordered “a caramel, pecan... thing.” And though I could not remember the name correctly, she guided me through the items that had similar names and I ended up with a treats that isn’t my usual, panicked Reese‘s blizzard go-to back up plan. I started teaching at my current position in 2015. I think that’s the last time I went through my desk drawers. And actually when I moved from my other classroom, I’m not sure that I even went through the contents of my drawers. More likely I shoved it in a box from my old desk, and poured it all back out into my new desk.
Today I discovered treasures that I didn’t know I ever had. I own more stickers than any one human probably ever should have. I found candy and candy wrappers. I sorted through notes from students, missing assignment forms, and old meeting agendas. I found a stack of school pictures from the last several years, out of order, along with staff composite and class composite pictures. I was shocked to discover I have an entire package of Mr. Sketch scented markers that have never been opened, one dollar, and one penny. Emptying out all of this; the trash and the treasures, has make me feel so much lighter. I’m so relieved. I can’t wait to start my cabinets. “When will we get our reward?” a student pleaded.
I wasn’t so sure when we would get around to the reward I “owed” them for completing a row on the hundreds chart. With all of the academics, interventions, reading groups, assessments, online work, and other extras, it’s hard to fit in a period of fun. I fully believe these things are some of the most important for students at times, but that doesn’t change that the pressures of our day to day lives make it hard to prioritize. So I decided that today was the day. And when I give my students their reward, I usually let them vote for what they want. Today I chose. Most times when they vote they want computer time, a movie, video games, electronics, electronics, electronics. I always advocate for anything but electronics and today I just sensed we needed some time away from them. The students spread out around the room and played various games. One group played a guessing game with headbands and cards. The student had to guess what the card in their headband said. I watched one student pick up a card and laugh, saying “Oh this one is perfect for you!” as he carefully slipped the card into his classmate’s headband. Another group played hangman. When I walked by I saw a word that looked impossibly long and hard to guess, but the other players kept naming letters. When I came by later the creator asked me, “Do you want to know what my word was??? It was ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ!” I didn’t care to mention that that isn’t a word, and probably breaks the rules, the girls laughed and laughed. In one corner I watched a girl who chose to read alone. I wondered if she was feeling left out. A moment later a classmate approached her and asked if she wanted to join their game. She thanked them, but said no, that she preferred to read. Only a short while later another student did the same, with the same answer. The reading student smiled huge, seeing how much her classmates valued her friendship, but still wanting to use her free time to read. The most amazing thing happened in this 20 minutes. There was not one single disagreement, there was no yelling at peers, there was no accusation of cheating, or playing unfairly. There were no hurt feelings, and no one left out. It was just the sweetest, simplest, happiest time. I think the most negative feelings in the room were mine, guilty that we haven’t done this sooner, or more often. |
Author5th grade teacher, wife, mama to my 3 magical babies, ally, advocate, doggy foster mom... just stumbling on. Archives
March 2022
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