Last night I laid in bed as the storms picked up outside.
I kept refreshing my weather app, checking the radar. I kept sitting up in bed, listening, and questioning, "was that the tornado siren?" As an adult I've developed considerable storm anxiety. I'm worried about the tornado siren going off and needing to wake the kids to bring them into the basement. I'm worried about the power going out and the sump pump failing and our basement flooding. I'm worried about actual tornadoes now too, since the one that swept through the town next door to us felt too close for comfort. I laid awake for hours listening to the thunder, the rain smacking the windows, and the phantom tornado sirens that were all in my imagination. I thought of summer nights as a kid when, after hours fast asleep, I'd wake to the squeek of the window crank in my bedroom. My dad would sneak around the house if it started to rain, and close the windows so the water didn't get in. I remember the smell of the wet wooden windowsill when he didn't get to it fast enough and a few drops came through the screen. As a kid, I never had any anxiousness or fear about the house or the rain or really, even the sirens. I knew that my dad would handle it all. And though I now know for certain, he too spent nights awake and listening, my dad never showed that he was worried. He just snuck in, closed the windows, and then, I'm sure, sat up and waited for the storm to pass.
4 Comments
What a good read with so many excellent phrases sprinkles through. Phantom tornado sirens, the creak of the window crank, the smell of the wet wooden windowsill… I also appreciated the comparison between how you viewed your dad, and how you realize he really most likely spent the night. Well written!
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Mark McTeague
3/6/2022 07:55:59 pm
Very cool descriptions. I could feel your anxiety in this post. Mama bear just protecting her den. I love storms, always have. The ones with wind like last night though do make you pay a little more attention. Glad all is good though Mama Bear.
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EugeniaKouts
3/6/2022 09:41:01 pm
I love this! How true that our parents never let us see their worry and concern. Through our eyes they seemed calm and in control of everything. That is the one thing I miss the most about my dad . . . not being able to reach out to him so he can calm my fears like he did my entire life. I'm glad to see your dad is just as amazing as my dad was ❤
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Trina
3/9/2022 07:12:19 pm
I love how you wrote this! I love how when we were younger, we don't have the worries we do when we are adults. I hope that my kids have that! I feel so many of them don't get this innocence. They don't experience living in oblivion like we did. I loved the memories you shared.
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Author5th grade teacher, wife, mama to my 3 magical babies, ally, advocate, doggy foster mom... just stumbling on. Archives
March 2022
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