Today I am thankful.
I’m thankful for the neighbor that I don’t know, who stayed on her side of the street, but commented, “At least we can do this!” which is exactly what I was thinking about my walk around the block with the baby in the stroller.
This morning after feeding my daughter, my son climbed up in the chair with us and said “Rock us, Mama. Your two babies.” And even though it was only for about 75 seconds, my goodness did I soak that up. I am so very thankful.
Things are wild and weird. My mom texted earlier that, though the circumstances are awful, she was glad I was getting time home with my family.
Truth is, lately I’ve been feeling very disconnected from my family. I’ve felt distant and overwhelmed and busy since I went back to work from maternity leave. I’ve felt pretty much like I don’t know my children, that someone else is raising them and my hour a night before they’re in bed is so hectic I don’t even enjoy it.
I’ve been dreading my husband starting coaching the track season, knowing even more of the nights and weekends would be me doing all of this alone.
This forced break, making time almost stand still, feels foreign and bizarre, but in some ways it feels good. I’m relearning my kids’ silly little mannerisms. Memorizing their faces in this season. I know if I don’t take it all in, I’ll end up missing this.
I’m thankful in this moment for perspective, and slowness, and open windows.