Having some generalized anxiety as it is, a “pandemic” certainly doesn’t help me keep calm.
I have anxious and OCD tendencies, and not in the way people joke, “Oh I’m so OCD!” (Which, by the way isn’t a very funny joke to people who, in fact, suffer from these things.) I’ve gone through times in my life that these things present themselves more than others, for example big transitions, times of uncertainty, and definitely postpartum. But a pandemic... this is new for me. Even when there was the swine flu and the avian flu, it didn’t seem that real to me for some reason. Maybe it was because I didn’t have little children? Or because we never once talked about our plan in case we needed to close school? For many reasons, I avoid news about things like this, but it’s hard to avoid when it’s all over every platform. I checked in with a friend today, who struggles with some of the same anxieties as I do, and she shared some resources with me that have been helping her combat the worry, which I appreciated very much. She also left me with this quote, which I’m letting sink in tonight. “Whilst worriers usually dislike the fact that they worry so much, they also often hold positive beliefs that worrying is beneficial and helpful. It is these positive beliefs about the usefulness of worrying that can get us worrying in the first place. Some positive beliefs may be: Worrying helps me find solutions to problems Worrying helps me understand problems Worrying motivates me to do things Worrying prepares me for the worst Worrying helps me avoid bad things Worrying prevents bad things Worrying is doing something Worrying shows I care.” (For more of this: https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself/Worry-and-Rumination) So in this moment of worry; moment of feeling so out of control, I’m trying to remind myself that this worry does NOT serve me; desperately trying to control what I can, and let the rest go. If this doesn’t affect you this way, I’m really glad for you. If it does, know you’re not alone.
2 Comments
3/11/2020 07:42:11 pm
Thank you for acknowledging that "so OCD" is not funny, and for the reflection on worry. We must take care and be gentle with ourselves in this time of uncertainty.
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3/11/2020 07:43:07 pm
I do worry at times too. Thanks for sharing the poem! It definitely gives us worriers a different perspective of our worrying.
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Author5th grade teacher, wife, mama to my 3 magical babies, ally, advocate, doggy foster mom... just stumbling on. Archives
March 2022
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