We moved the baby cradle out of our bedroom today.
I remember the day we moved into our house, only about 2 months before the baby was born, and my biggest goal was to get the cradle ready. With my nesting instincts in full effect, I set it up in the corner next to my side of the bed. For the next two months, it sat waiting, with newly cleaned sheets and a swaddle inside. As time went on, and my larger than average newborn grew at quicker than average rates, it became clear that my idea of keeping him within arms reach for 6 months was not going to happen. When he was 2 months old we moved him across the hall to his own room. So yes, that means that it sat empty next to me for almost 2 months. In my head I just kept thinking, we will try having him in his room, and when I decide that he still needs me, I will just bring him back. But one night at a time, I put him to bed in his room, thinking it would just be for one more night, until he showed me that he still needed me. Clearly he does still need me, but little by little I´m starting to see that he needs me a little bit less. He didn´t need to come back to his cradle. and I surprised myself by deciding we all slept better with him across the hall. So when my husband came down the stairs carrying the cradle today, it made me feel a lot of things. I thought about how long it sat waiting for our greatest adventure to begin, for our baby to come home. Then I thought about how he spent his first nights home in it. I thought about how I learned to be a mom with him laying close by each night, and learned to respond to what he needed, starting to understand each of his cries and grunts in the middle of the night. This early stage of his life just came and went in the blink of an eye. Our little wooden cradle has served its purpose for this baby, and will go into storage in the basement until, maybe someday, we need it again. And if that day comes, with all the same anxiety and excitement, but maybe a little less mystery, we will set it up again to wait for someone new.
3 Comments
Susan Dillon
3/11/2018 08:25:59 pm
That is beautiful. Your baby will need you for a long time!
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Sara Tomasevich
3/11/2018 10:45:21 pm
I loved reading this. The nostalgia and love just poured out of it. I am so happy that you are capturing all these sweet, albeit sad moments, too.
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Dana Murphy
3/12/2018 08:07:35 pm
"but maybe a little less mystery".... I love that phrase.
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Author5th grade teacher, wife, mama to my 3 magical babies, ally, advocate, doggy foster mom... just stumbling on. Archives
March 2022
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