Being a teacher, I sometimes wonder if I've said the right thing.
I wonder if the words of "wisdom" I am offering to these precious little lives are really all that wise. Today I had one of those moments when I though, I hope what I am babbling makes any sense. I hope that the words that I'm stumbling over are making this crying little girl feel better. And this time, I felt like maybe it didn't. I felt like maybe what I wanted to say was, "I remember being 11! And it's hard no matter what you do! And the next few years aren't going to get any easier! Your friends will be mean to you, you'll be mean back, it will "ruin" your life, and break your little heart, and you'll have no idea what to do, and you'll want to disappear! And the crazy thing is, you probably wont talk to any of these friends by the time you get to high school anyway, and you'll look back at this and laugh at how silly it all was!" But, I know better, because when you're 11, and you're right in the middle of it, nothing a teacher can say is really going to make that go away. So instead I said, "I'm so sorry you're feeling that way. I'm here for you. I will always be here for you." Even though this exchange happened hours ago, and she may have even forgotten about it, here I am, still thinking about what I said. I think about what I try to teach them each day, about their academic subjects, sure, but even more about life. And how much I hope for them to be always happy and healthy. And how much I want them to overcome every obstacle they face. And how much their little broken hearts break mine. I sit here wondering if I had even been the least bit influential today. And I wonder if these precious little lives know how much they influence me.
8 Comments
What a beautiful and reflective slice. Your thoughts resonated with me very much. I, too, often return to things I said to students and wonder if they were the right ones. I like how you go through the things you wish you could say, but can't. I also feel limited by the right words to say too.
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3/14/2017 04:26:19 pm
they definitely do not realize how they influence us!
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Lindsey
3/14/2017 07:03:46 pm
This is what makes you the best, most influential teacher. No academics are as important as your kids knowing you love them!
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Kelly Dennis
3/14/2017 07:56:59 pm
I love this post. I love that you are so real and honest. This is exactly what I needed to read after feeling the stress of all the academics that we feel. We teach the whole child. You do make a difference
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3/14/2017 09:12:46 pm
I think you just mirrored some times that all teachers experience, and much of what you can do is listen and say those words you shared: "I'm here, I'll always be here to help you." Taking time for her means a lot. And if something very serious comes up, this time may help her come to you again. Thanks for sharing!
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3/15/2017 03:02:15 am
Such an honest post...we have all felt like this at some point or another. While the words you said may not have been remembered or even mattered to her, your presence, the fact that you took the time to talk to her during such a sad moment did. That's what matters.
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3/15/2017 11:30:54 am
This is how I feel as a parent, too, Melody. Sometimes I don't have the right words, or the right words would be a little too honest. It's a BIG job, being a mom or a teacher.
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Author5th grade teacher, wife, mama to my 3 magical babies, ally, advocate, doggy foster mom... just stumbling on. Archives
March 2022
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