There is something so refreshing about March. The long dark days of February start to space out, and a little bit more sunshine, warmth, and renewal fills the gaps.
After spending much of the winter at home with my new squishy baby, being a hermit felt good. But now I’m ready for a new normal. I’m ready for walks around the neighborhood, sitting on the patio, and finally seeing friends I probably haven’t seen since this time last year. I’m just starting (after 3 1/2 months of motherhood) to feel like a balanced human again. February was also the month that I had to leave that new squishy baby and go back to work. I’m sure every mom feels a little different, but for me, this was a soul crushing reality that hit me so much harder than I could have imagined. After a month now of being back to work, I am starting to feel like I can be a teacher and a mom. Not every day feels this way, though and there are still plenty of days I drop off the little squish with his grandma and spend my drive to work in tears, but I’m realizing that is okay. I’m not sure if it’s the time, the new month, the change in weather, or the coffee talking, but right here and now on March 1st it feels okay. I feel okay navigating this new life, the new balance, the new normal. I am grateful for this change that I feel coming. But I realize, above all, I wouldn’t feel this lightness about the new month, without the dreary February days that came before. Though I am ready for it to be gone, in the end, I am grateful for February.
8 Comments
3/1/2018 11:11:28 am
Going back to work is SO HARD. Good for you for taking it one day, one week, one month at a time!
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Mark McTeague
3/1/2018 01:56:18 pm
I love how you called your little one squishy! I miss those days! Just understand that everything will get easier. You won't miss him any less, but it will get easier to leave him with someone you trust. You will look back at this after you have your second and laugh that you used to get worked up. Enjoy every second with your little man when you get the chances!
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Dana Murphy
3/1/2018 02:33:36 pm
Well, my favorite blogger is back!
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eddie hren
3/1/2018 03:42:50 pm
i know lots of those emotions. very well said. it sounds like you're doing a great job handling this life shift and i bet you are. i'm a fan of your writing style too. i'd give anything for one of mine to be a baby again - be a sponge. great post.
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Cassie King
3/1/2018 03:54:01 pm
Going back to work broke my heart every single time... But somehow I survived. Somehow it made me a better mom. It doesn't get easier, you'll just find better ways to deal with it... and then there is SUMMER! :)
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Savena Joiner
3/1/2018 04:42:10 pm
I love the squishy baby years!!!!! Yes, we learn to appreciate the bright and sunny so much more because we've endured the dark and gloomy. Here's to more days of sunshine in March and never ending squishy baby snuggles :)
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Sara Tomasevich
3/1/2018 11:18:46 pm
I love your writing Melody! The new normal is not necessarily easier, but you adjust, and so will "Squishy". You are a great mom. Your hats will continue to grow, and you will be spread thin. But like many before you, you will cultivate the best life possible for your son.
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Author5th grade teacher, wife, mama to my 3 magical babies, ally, advocate, doggy foster mom... just stumbling on. Archives
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